Now about sex. To sum up about sex: We earnestly pray for the right ideal, for guidance in each questionable situation, for sanity, and for the strength to do the right thing. He often says that if he had continued to work on them, he might have deprived many others, who have since recovered, of their chance. You have passed happy evenings together chatting and drinking before your fire. But if you are shaky, you had better work with another alcoholic instead! They can hardly fail to approve these simple principles, though the head of the house still fails somewhat in practicing them. She may insist on knowing all the particulars. You would expect him, if he were normal, to cut it out. We are like the passengers of a great liner the moment after rescue from shipwreck when camaraderie, joyousness and democracy pervade the vessel from steerage to Captains table. Save for a few brief moments of temptation the thought of drink has never returned; and at such times a great revulsion has risen up in him. Family confidence in dad is rising high. He too, has become a respected and useful member of his community. Every attempt failed. After two weeks of drinking, he had placed his toe on the trigger of a loaded shotgun- the barrel was in his mouth. On talking to a man there, I would be amazingly lifted up and set on my feet. We did exactly the same thing with our lives. The first 164 pages explain the alcoholic problem and how to solve it. To calculate the page count for a 5.5 8.5 book: 10 pt type - divide your word count by 475. Presently the man did slip and was fired. What used to be the hunch or the occasional inspiration gradually becomes a working part of the mind. We admit we have some of these symptoms, but we have not gone to the extremes you fellows did, nor are we likely to, for we understand ourselves so well after what you have told us that such things cannot happen again. Base Territorial: Then we have the voices who cry for sex and more sex; who bewail the institution of marriage; who think that most of the troubles of the race are traceable to sex causes. If he did not work, he would surely drink again, and if he drank, he would surely die. Suggestions about these may be obtained from ones priest, minister, or rabbi. Though I had been only a nominal churchman, their proposals were not, intellectually, hard to swallow. Doubtless you are curious to discover how and why, in the face of expert opinion to the contrary, we have recovered from a hopeless condition of mind and body. (Bill wrote on the very last page of the first 164 pages: We realize we know only a little). But dont remind him of this after he had been drinking, for he may be angry. This may take patient waiting, but it will be worth it. With a certain satisfaction I reflected there was enough gin concealed about the house to carry me through that night and the next day. A drunk may smash the furniture in your home, or burn a mattress. Unwilling to be honest with these sympathetic men, we were honest with no one else. But we must go further and that means more action. We will suddenly realize that God is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves. Our human resources, as marshalled by the will, were not sufficient; they failed utterly. Sometimes we alcoholics have an idea that people are trying to pull us down. For three for four months the goose hung high. Sometimes you will have to call a doctor and administer sedatives under his direction. One morning he took the bull by the horns and set out to tell those he feared what his trouble had been. God ought to be able to do anything. Then he added, He sure didnt do much for me when I was trying to fight this booze racket alone.. It also varies if you include words and phrases such as "Requires", "Had to", "Imperative . We have sought sympathy. Even if you feel your organization has no alcoholic problem, it might pay to take another look down the line. But I do love How anonymous this The Big Book is an outline for recovery, never claiming to be a "cure" or a certain solution for everyone and anything. A reasonable amount of latitude will be helpful. Highly competent psychiatrists who have dealt with us have found it sometimes impossible to persuade an alcoholic to discuss his situation without reserve. He has just returned from a three-months leave of absence, has taken a cure, looks fine, and to clinch the matter, the board of directors told him this was his last chance., The only answer I could make was that if the man followed the usual pattern, he would go on a bigger bust than ever. Faith without works was dead, he said. We know you will not want to miss it. Of those who keep on, a good number will become true alcoholics after a while. They may be the dubious luxury of normal men, but for alcoholics these things are poison. Surrender means that you As you type, words are displayed which match your keystrokes. Download it once and read it on your Kindle device, PC, phones or tablets. Thats a common form of trouble too. His coming was an oasis in this dreary desert of futility. Both you and the new man must walk day by day in the path of spiritual progress. That was all. Above all, he believed he had acquired such a profound knowledge of the inner workings of his mind and its hidden springs that relapse was unthinkable. 164 and More - Big Book and 12&12 Concordance - Kindle edition by LLC, Recovery Press. They show how the change came over them. We must lose our fear of creditors no matter how far we have to go, for we are liable to drink if we are afraid to face them. And with such good effect that the doctor agreed to a test among his patients and certain other alcoholics from a clinic which he attends. If God can solve the age-old riddle of alcoholism, He can solve your problems too. He shouted great tidings. If he owes you money you may wish to make terms. Many of us have heard of the Ninth Step Promises from page 83-84 of the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous. 16; After your man has gone along without drinking for a few months, you may be able to make use of his services with other employees who are giving you the alcoholic run- around-provided, of course, they are willing to have a third party in the picture. If sex is very troublesome, we throw ourselves the harder into helping others. Everybody knows that those in bad health, and those who seldom play, do not laugh much. Alcoholics Anonymous-The Big Book-has served as a lifeline to millions worldwide.First published in 1939, Alcoholics Anonymous sets forth cornerstone concepts of recovery from alcoholism and tells the stories of men and women who have overcome the disease. The process of one addict/alcoholic guiding another through the Book takes between 24 and 30 hours, usually done in 2 3 hour sessions, typically over a period of 2 3 weeks. Though his family be at fault in many respects, he should not be concerned about that. We had seen spiritual release, but liked to tell ourselves it wasnt true. Whether you are a hard drinker, a moderate drinker or a teetotaler, you may have some pretty strong opinions, perhaps prejudices. If he feels free to discuss his problems with you, if he knows you under-stand and will not be upset by anything he wishes to say, he will probably be off to a fast start. Despite all we can say, many who are real alcoholics are not going to believe they are in that class. Pg. For by this time sanity will have returned. A doctor said to us, Years of living with an alcoholic is almost sure to make any wife or child neurotic. Instead of treating the family as he should, he may retreat further into himself and feel he has spiritual justification for so doing. But say nothing, for the moment, of how that was accomplished. Big Book, page 164. We have listed the people we have hurt by our conduct, and are willing to straighten out the past if we can. It is not the matter of giving that is in question, but when and how to give. If you and your husband find a solution for the pressing problem of drink you are, of course, going to be very happy. Talksport Presenters 2019, Surprisingly enough, we find such convictions no great obstacle to a spiritual experience. Another time, as I opened a letter which lay on my desk, a newspaper clipping fell out. There are two alcoholic employees, who produce as much as five normal salesmen. We realize that some people are as fanatical about sex as others are loose. The Big Book doesn't come with an index, so here is one in the form of a bookmark. It is not to be expected that an alcoholic employee will receive a disproportionate amount of time and attention. Without much ado, he accepted the principles and procedure that had helped us. He saw that he would have to face his problems squarely that God might give him mastery. We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it. (Bill wrote on the very last page of the first 164 pages: "We realize we know only a little"). The reader may still ask why he should believe in a Power greater than himself. He was very nervous in the morning after these bouts and quieted himself with more liquor. Show them that he has entered upon a period of growth. If common words were not discarded, the 164 and More book would be 4 inches thick containing 1,700 pages. This is sometimes a mistake. He may not share your enthusiasm, but he is practically sure to read the book and he may go for the program at once. He is worried at times, and is becoming aware that he cannot drink like other people. How much did these feelings, these loves, these worships, have to do with pure reason? A new world came into view. Sub-sede: Rua Prudente de Moraes, 911 Preface / Forward to the 1st Edition. But the difficulty is that few alcoholics have enough desire to stop while there is yet time. We finally sought employment ourselves as destitution faced us and our families. There was much talk about the mental state preceding the first drink. We are not theorizing. I placed myself unreservedly under His care and direction. Show any longshoreman a Sunday supplement describing a proposal to explore the moon by means of a rocket and he will say I bet they do it maybe not so long either. Is not our age characterized by the ease with which we discard old ideas for new, by the complete readiness with which we throw away the theory or gadget which does not work for something new which does? Attempt instead, to put yourself in his place. The wives and children of such men suffer horribly, but not more than the men themselves. We found the Great Reality deep down within us. As the whisky rose to my head I told myself I would manage better next time, but I might as well get good and drunk then. That was natural, but let us think a little more closely. Though the family does not fully agree with dads spiritual activities, they should let him have his head. Again it was the old, insidious insanity- that first drink. There had been much happiness after all. Pg.163: You forget that you have just now tapped a source of power so much greater than . - Centro - Jundia/SP | CEP: 13201-004 | (11) 4492-9020 (11) 4521-2163 e-mail: Sede: Cajamar - Rua Vereador Jos Mendes, 267, Jordansia CEP: 07776-460 Fone: (11) 97166-5785 He trembled as he went about, for this might mean ruin, particularly to a person in his line of business. Everyone. Vinhedo. Our friends have counseled chucking the men and we have done so with finality, only to be back in a little while hoping, always hoping. Click here for sample pages in .pdf format . This means trouble, unless the family watches for these tendencies in each other and comes to a friendly agreement about them. Now and then the family will be plagued by spectres from the past, for the drinking career of almost every alcoholic has been marked by escapades, funny, humiliating, shameful or tragic. Yet you must not expect too much. It thickened, ever becoming blacker. We thought we could find an easier, softer way. His disposition while drinking resembles his normal nature but little. In many homes this is a difficult thing to do, but it must be done if any results are to be expected. A doctor came with a heavy sedative. We must be entirely honest with somebody if we expect to live long or happily in this world. If a mere code of morals or a better philosophy of life were sufficient to overcome alcoholism, many of us would have recovered long ago. Everybody, including himself, would be pleased. For him, this was the spree that ended all sprees. Today I own a little company. Your prospect may belong to a religious denomination. Though you may be able to stop for a considerable period, you may yet be a potential alcoholic. Joy at our release from a lifetime of frustration knew no bounds. Why? Remember they are very ill. Life will take on new meaning. It also has its own Facebook page and Len R is now in the process of creating audio versions of each of the chapters, available on YouTube. We can laugh at those who think spirituality the way of weakness. Out of this alloy of drink and speculation, I commenced to forge the weapon that one day would turn in its flight like a boomerang and all but cut me to ribbons. One more suggestion: Whether the family has spiritual convictions or not, they may do well to examine the principles by which the alcoholic member is trying to live. You do not know what to tell the children. I had been overwhelmed. As I'm writing this 2011 Buick Regal Service Manual book has my utmost attention and it's one the most detailed ebooks that I have got online. Sometimes we had to search fearlessly, but He was there. Clarence S.) Question: What does W e, ofAlcoholics Anonymous, are more than one hundred men and women who have re-covered from a seemingly hopeless state of mind and body. First Edition of the Big Book. Quicksand stretched around me in all directions. Surrender in Big Book terms means to: "Abandon yourself to God as you understand God." (BB pg 164) Being all powerful, He provided what we needed, if we kept close to Him and performed His work well. Should I kill myself? Whatever the situation, we usually have to do something about it. OUR WOMEN FOLK have suggested certain attitudes a wife may take with the husband who is recovering. Sometimes it is wise to wait till he goes on a binge. For a few days he was depressed about his condition. We ought to sit down with the family and frankly analyze the past as we now see it, being very careful not to criticize them. However, some of the stories after the first 164 pages have been updated and changed as time has passed. My wife and I abandoned ourselves with enthusiasm to the idea of helping other alcoholics to a solution of their problems. We must be willing to make amends where we have done harm, provided that we do not bring about still more harm in so doing. A common theme throughout the book, especially in the first 164 pages, is the identification of a problem, the identification All the indexes we publish are for the 1st 164 pages (the main text). He wanted so much to talk with someone, but whom? All Rights Reserved. He looked straight at me. A Fifth Edition of the Big Book, Alcoholics Anonymous, be developed, including an update of stories to better reflect current membership, keeping in mind the 1995 Advisory Action that: "The first 164 pages of the Big Book, Alcoholics Anonymous, the Preface, the Forewords, 'The Doctor's Opinion,' 'Dr. Bob's Nightmare,' and the . He did, and also sent a small amount of money. The more hopeless he feels, the better. For a time he may try to hug the new treasure to himself. Or with the General Service Office of Alcoholics Anonymous. We got this all down on paper and looked at it. He does not need a bodyguard nor is he confined. Once we have taken this step, withholding nothing, we are delighted. The majority have never returned. They want him to make a fuss over them. I had eaten there many times during the months I was sober. Sorting and rendering passages in the proprietary format of the 164 and More concordance does not in any way imply affiliation with or endorsement by either Includes pages 1-164 and: The original Foreword. This is not an overnight matter. We think the reason is that they never completed their housecleaning. Your candidate may give reasons why he need not follow all of the program. It will do little good if you point that out and urge more attention for yourself. We believe that managers of large enterprises often have little idea how prevalent this problem is. But this man still lives, and is a free man. We might prejudice them. The story he told is most instructive, for here was a chap absolutely convinced he had to stop drinking, who had no excuse for drinking, who exhibited splendid judgment and determination in all his other concerns, yet was flat on his back nevertheless. Instead of developing new channels of activity for themselves, mother and children demand that he stay home and make up the deficiency. My wife was at work. We have been dealing with alcohol in its worst aspect. We do talk about each other a great deal, but we almost invariably temper such talk by a spirit of love and tolerance. The experiment of quitting for a period of time will be helpful, but we think we can render an even greater service to alcoholic sufferers and perhaps to the medical fraternity. It is an effort to discover the truth about the stock-in-trade. Again I swayed dizzily before an open window, or the medicine cabinet where there was poison, cursing myself for a weakling. If circumstances warrant, we ask our wives or friends to join us in morning meditation. Show him you have confidence in his power to stop or moderate. Many people lost money-but some became very rich. Our first example is a friend we shall call Jim. It may be obscured by calamity, by pomp, by worship of other things, but in some form or other it is there. When you come through the doors of AA, it is suggested that you purchase a Big Book. We are greatly indebted to the doctor in attendance there, for he, although it might prejudice his own work, has told us of his belief in ours. Among us are wives, relatives and friends whose problem has been solved, as well as some who have not yet found a happy solution. Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all. We have no right to save our own skin at another persons expense. God had restored his sanity. I guess the old folks were right after all. So one more was added to the Fellowship. I have enjoyed every moment spent in getting them straightened out. Ask him what you should do if he places you in such a position again. These are facts out of our experience. There was loud talk in the jazz places uptown. The Little Big Book avoids sexist language, and welcomes people of all lifestyles and faiths. But you may talk to him about the hopelessness of alcoholism because you offer a solution. Many of us have heard of the Ninth Step Promises from page 83-84 of the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous. Do you use that word despite it was DELIBERATELY left out by Bill Wilson for a specific reason? Its strong language-but isnt it true? We, who have recovered from serious drinking, are miracles of mental health. Or by pot.. When we decide who is to hear our story, we waste no time. When he renews interest in such things, a feeling of jealousy may arise. Now we go out to our fellows and repair the damage done in the past. Within a week after leaving the hospital a fast-moving trolley car breaks his arm. It may seem incredible that these men are to become happy, respected, and useful once more. Your man has probably been trying to conceal a number of scrapes, perhaps pretty messy ones. There could be no love in such persons, we thought. If you put in several words and do not find what you are looking for, then, of course, try less words. These are the realities for us. We asked ourselves why we had them. When dealing with such a person, you had better use everyday language to describe spiritual principles. When the thought was expressed that there might be a God personal to me this feeling was intensified. This is as it should be. If he is alcoholic, he will understand you at once. Dont deal with him when he is very drunk, unless he is ugly and the family needs your help. And we, who have imposed on the best of employers, can scarcely blame them if they have been short with us. It was his first experience of this kind, and he was much ashamed of it. Most alcoholics have to be pretty badly mangled before they really commence to solve their problems. With these we have had experience galore. Our experience shows that this is not necessarily so. Alcohol was my master. This seemed to me like an opportunity to be helpful, so I spent two hours talking about alcoholism, the malady, and described the symptoms and results as well as I could. We discuss them with someone immediately and make amends quickly if we have harmed anyone. In addition to these casual get-togethers, it became customary to set apart one night a week for a meeting to be attended by anyone or everyone interested in a spiritual way of life. This was only a beginning, though if honestly and humbly made, an effect, sometimes a very great one, was felt at once. Perhaps we have committed a criminal offense which might land us in jail if it were known to the authorities. Liquor incapacitated father for so many years that mother became head of the house. He saw that he had to place the outcome in Gods hands or he would soon start drinking again, and all would be lost anyhow. There should be no hesitancy in consulting a doctor or psychologist if the condition persists. Your husband may come to appreciate your reasonableness and patience. I was to test my thinking by the new God-consciousness within. When we sincerely took such a position, all sorts of remarkable things followed. He came through an acquaintance who had heard the good news. He may bring new hope and new courage to many a priest, minister, or rabbi, who gives his all to minister to our troubled world. Were we kind and loving toward all? What we really have is a daily reprieve contingent on the maintenance of our spiritual condition. Grfica e Servios Grficos de Cajamar, Jundia, Vinhedo e Regio Momentarily we did-then would come oblivion and the awful awakening to face the hideous Four Horsemen-Terror, Bewilderment, Frustration, Despair. Why does he? He is always more or less insanely drunk. The beginning of the Big Book has not been changed since 1939, but exactly how many pages does that consist of? The early history of AA tells us that even Bill W. had a sponsor who's name was Edwin T. There are 103 "Musts" in the third Edition. But soon the sense of His presence had been blotted out by worldly clamors, mostly those within myself. The Big Book App contains the first 164 pages and Doctor Bobs story. This time we stayed broke. . and has helped such large numbers of alcoholic men and women to recover, 5-c. Has there been a desire to make any changes in it? If not members of religious bodies, we sometimes select and memorize a few set prayers which emphasize the principles we have been discussing. Show him these things in yourself and they will be reflected back to you from him. Select your word print size. We are average Americans. Afterward, his revulsion will be terrible. An all night place supplied me with a dozen glasses of ale. We think each family which has been relieved owes something to those who have not, and when the occasion requires, each member of it should be only too willing to bring former mistakes, no matter how grievous, out of their hiding places. If you cooperate, rather than complain, you will find that his excess enthusiasm will tone down. Dont start out as an evangelist or reformer. Besides, we have stopped fighting anybody or anything. Big Book, page 164. Notwithstanding the great necessity for discussing ourselves with someone, it may be one is so situated that there is no suitable person available. You will learn the full meaning of Love thy neighbor as thyself.. We have enjoyed such evenings ourselves; we had a good time. 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